SA 4EB1 JUNE2019R

One mark for any one of the following:

• Grace Miner

• Joshua Williams

• Ryan Hreljac

One mark for any one of the following:

• bring in real-world events

• demonstrate connections

• ask students to offer their opinions

• devise solutions

expose them to social issues

Reward responses that explain how the writer presents her advice to

teachers.

Responses may include:

• the use of the introductory paragraph shows admiration for young people: ‘a great

mistake to assume’, ‘transforming their world in ways that put adults to shame’

• although fairly formal there is use of the informal ‘kids’

• the use of direct address: ‘your’

• the use of sub-headings

• the use of positive examples of students who have made a difference: ‘high school

student Grace Miner’, ‘Florida teen Joshua Williams’, ‘Seven-year-old Ryan Hreljac’

• the descriptions of what they did: ‘discuss how the media negatively portrays

girls’, ‘gave money to the hungry at age six’, ‘bought a well’

• the use of the word ‘inspiring’

• the use of contrasts: ‘The key is to help them turn the negativity in their lives or

someone else’s into a positive’

• the use of language to offer advice: ‘offering them small decisions’, ‘actively seek

their opinions’, ‘why not, for example’

• the use of examples familiar to students: ‘popular socially- minded hashtags and

viral sensations such as the Ice Bucket Challenge’

• the use of the metaphor: ‘in a bubble’

• the use of questions

• the use of instructions (many examples).

One mark for any one of the following:

• recognises and supports young people who are doing really positive things

• it is about the reputation of young people in society

• young people have the opportunity to show that they can do really positive things

• to show they want to make a change

• to show they can act as responsible citizens

• to show they want to take responsibility in the

community.

One mark each for any two of the following:

• don’t be scared

• you have a lot more power than you realise

• having courage

• standing up and saying what you want to change

• don't stop screaming until they hear you

• keep on making an effort

• you can get there if you persevere

• stick with it.

Reward responses that explain how the writer conveys her belief that young people can make a

difference.

Responses may include:

• the reference to the award in the opening paragraph: ‘Diana Anti-bullying Champion

Award’

• the use of Ellie’s own words add authenticity

• the use of pronouns, ‘I’, ‘we’, ‘you’, which engages and involves the audience

• the use of repetition to emphasise how positively she feels about young people: ‘incredible, incredible’

• the repetition of ‘Diana Award’

• the use of positive language to describe the organisation: ‘an organisation which

works to recognise and support young people who are doing really positive things in their

communities’, ‘shine a spotlight’ (metaphor)

• the personal nature of the speech: ‘My message’

• the positive language used to describe young people: ‘a lot more power than they

realise’

• the focus on inspirational language: ‘courage’, ‘standing up and saying’,

‘persevere’, ‘keep striving’

• the use of an optimistic ending: ‘can make a massive difference to someone else’s life’

• the use of two short sentences at the end of the final two paragraphs: ‘So, stick

with it.’, ‘So have courage.’

• the majority of the text is in the form of a speech..

Responses may include the following points:

Text One

• conveys her positivity from the start: ‘in fact, many young people are transforming

their world’

• uses examples of real young people who have made a difference: ‘Grace Miner’

• offers positive advice: ‘the key is to help them’, ‘Actively seek’, ‘demonstrating

to them that they have something valuable to say’

• gives examples of helpful approaches: ‘Offering them small decisions’, ‘Why not, for

example, have the class choose a cause’, ‘Bring in world events’

• the use of a supportive / reassuring tone: ‘It is true that young people need rules’

• the use of sub-headings

• the use of questions.

General points candidates may make on the whole of Text One

• it is advisory

• the use of a slightly informal tone

• the writer’s positivity

• it is aimed at teachers.

Text Two

• starts with a description of Ellie Jones: ‘awarded’, ‘passionate’

• refers to the negative views of society: ‘destructive’, ‘don’t contribute anything

positive’, ‘don’t care’

• contrasts this with the positive: ‘do really positive things’, ‘act as responsible

citizens’, ‘want to be taking responsibility’

• the references to the ‘barriers’ to participation show she is sympathetic to young

people

• she is very positive about the Diana Award: ‘really about making sure’, ‘really

about challenging the perception’, ‘shining a spotlight’

• she emphasises the qualities required to be involved: ‘persevere’, ‘have courage’,

‘keep striving’

• ends on an encouraging comment: ’So have courage.’

General points candidates may make on the whole of Text Two

• it is mostly a speech / first person

• it directly addresses the audience

• it is informal

• it has a friendly / supportive tone

• it includes her personal experiences / beliefs (use of ‘I’).